Can You Still Be Trans Without Top Dysphoria?
Understanding Trans Identity
Trans is a condition that you are born with, characterized by a discord between your gender identity and the sex you were assigned at birth. Surgery is a personal choice that one might or might not decide to undertake. For some, such as myself, medical considerations make the decision to undergo surgery too risky. This does not diminish my trans identity. I have left behind outdated labels and stand confidently as a trans individual irrespective of surgery.
Some argue that not wanting surgery automatically labels one an 'outed crossdresser' rather than a true trans person. However, this view is rooted in a false notion that complete alignment with one's gender identity (including physical changes) is essential. This mindset is both revolting and counter-productive, as it suggests that an unwanted blood sacrifice is necessary to belong to the trans community. Such an attitude is far from the humanistic and enlightened principles that should guide such a diverse and inclusive community.
Defining Dysphoria
Discontent with one's body or gender can be defined as dysphoria, which refers to a state of unease or general dissatisfaction. It is important to understand that not every trans person feels this discomfort, or even in the same way. Just because some individuals experience top dysphoria (uncomfortableness with the shape or form of their chest) does not mean that everyone in the trans community does.
For me, while my top dysphoria is severe, my bottom dysphoria is minimal. I do not feel that it is a hindrance. It is more of an alien feeling, like something foreign that just feels weird without being overly bothersome. In fact, not having dysphoria in some areas is a welcomed relief. For many, dysphoria is yet another source of distress, but for me, it simply is one less thing to worry about.
Living Without Top Dysphoria
I lived for over a decade as a transgender individual without top dysphoria. During this time, my life was fulfilling, and I experienced a range of bottom dysphoria symptoms. One of the more significant issues was related to urination. I found that standing to urinate would leave me feeling that I might soil my pants, and the idea of sexual intercourse felt as though I had the wrong instruction manual. Although these feelings were distressing, they did not overshadow the essence of my trans identity.
However, everything changed about a year ago. A sudden wave of dysphoria hit me, forcing me to use prosthetic breasts to avoid anxiety. Prior to this, I led a comfortable life as a transgender individual and faced minimal dysphoria. This experience underscores the complexity of trans identity and the fact that dysphoria (or the absence of it) is not a universal experience.
It is also worth noting that many cisgender women do not have prominent breast development, and this can be a normal part of their gender identity. In my mind, this lower degree of dysphoria would be less potent. Therefore, it is important to recognize that the intensity of gender dysphoria can vary widely among individuals, and a lack of top dysphoria does not invalidate one's trans identity.